I was reading an article about the brain, it was all about how the brain  is not equipped to multi-task.  Then, I remembered a conversation I had with my daughter  about her New Year’s resolution:

“Focus more and to block out distractions”.

She felt that she spent too much time reading various websites, taking in information from blogs, news headlines, and a variety of news  sources,  to the point it became a virtual news-knowledge-information fire hydrant slamming her in the mind.  She said while all this information was interesting, it seemed to keep her from actually “doing” anything”.  So  instead of finishing the “Brain:” article I was reading I immediately e-mailed the website to her.  What the!

No, that ain’t right!

I realized,  I was  doing precisely what she was trying to stop.  I was attempting to give her yet, another distraction and a the same time I was distracting myself by not focused on the article at hand.  My mind took off on it’s own trying to be in 10 places at once.  Even now,  at this minute, I just heard the dryer in my apartment stop and my mind is saying, “get up and get the clothes out of the dryer before they wrinkle!”    And yet, I know that my mind is simply creating thoughts that I really do not need to pay attention to.

Who’s the Boss!

My conscious mind is always creating havoc!  There is always drama going on in there!  Thoughts filled with negative messages that may or may not help me get through the day.  Negative thinking.  Thoughts that do not benefit me, making me the “victim”.  A Ha!  the “Brain” article says, one of the symptoms of multi-tasking too much is “negative” thinking.  See!  Here is proof!

Then the phone rang.

The voice was a woman’s and it was filled with emotion and cracking with the urgency of someone in distress.  She had been referred to me by a friend and she was pacing in a parking lot, smoking and in need of some kind of comfort.  She was filled with adrenaline and she wanted relief!   Man, was her mind racing as she was trying to describe the problems she faced.  Her tongue could not keep up with all the negative thinking that was bombarding her.  She was definitly a victim of her wild mind’s thoughts, and she wanted help….right now!

Hysteria is just a frame of mind!

I told her,
“The first step you can take  is to calm down.”  Hard to do but it is possible if you  understand the emotional process.

Something bad happened.

Someone or something made this happen.

It will continue to happen unless you calm down.

The only way to change about these circumstances is to take control of your own mind.

Because you cannot change anyone else, the only thing you can change is YOU.

So you need to witness, recognize and observe your thoughts.

Before you can focus your attention, you need to take charge of your negative emotional wild thoughts (worry, anger, sadness, irritation).

This is your wild mind, and it  impairs and overwhelms your pre-frontal cortex, the brain’s driver.  When your driver is impaired you can’t make sense of your thoughts.   You can not come to solutions and you have impaired decision making.

Too many negative thoughts and stress damages your ability to focus and it harms your health.  You can change that outcome by taking control of your mind.  Recognize the negative thinking, re-frame thoughts to control the outcome.  For instance, if your thoughts are telling you, “My family is against me, I am the victim of their accusations!  You can re-frame to say, “These accusations are false,  I will present myself and my mind in a rational way to prove them to be wrong”.

How do you get there?  How do you take control of your “wild” thoughts?   You can employ the same things that improve your health.

Breathe!  Sleep well, exercise, do a mindfulness practice, take some time to notice what you are doing in this very moment. When you control your thoughts you will control your brain.

First step?  Stop being distracted, focus on one task at a time.  Finish that task and then take on another.  In other words stop the distractions, and focus.  Because when you organize your life and focus on what needs to be done right now.  You will benefit because your mind will be clear, less stressed and ready for the next task.  Your mind will become more orderly as well.

The payoff is that you will be in control, of your life and your mind.  Why not be the “captain” of your own life the master of your thoughts!

My hypnotherapy clients come in for all sorts of issues that are getting in the way of them living the life they want!  Whether their problem is poor self-esteem, weight, anxiety, blocks, or addiction, they all want to be free of the problem.  Yet their problems have become so familiar and comfortable to them they almost hold it like an old teddy bear, taking it with them where ever they go or what ever phase of their life they embark upon.

They feel safe and comfortable with this annoying, unwelcome friend until, finally, they decide to let go.

That’s when I come in

I’ll have a client tell me, “Well, I’ve always been anxious and worried”.  I wonder, did someone tell them that?  How does one become “labeled” with a behavior?  Is it like being told you are “gifted” or “smart”?   If it’s that simple, then all of us would tell our kids, “Gee, you are so smart” or “talented” or “gifted” right?  But I find that many latch on to sour labels, negative thinking and they live their lives thinking that they have no choice.

That’s when I tell them about imagination.  You know imagination don’t you?  Look around at where you are sitting right now….Everything you see is there because someone “imagined” it.  Right.  The lamp, the rug, the desk the computer I’m typing on was the result of someone’s imagination.  I just love that!

I help my clients see the power that imagination has in our lives.  It is a very powerful thing and I don’t have to prove it to them because they can see the proof right before their eyes.  Then I tell them, if someone used their imagination to create all the things we see before us, why can’t you use imagination to create the life you would like to live?   Imagine what life would be to be free of the problems you have been hauling around.  Think of it, you can be free of thinking about weight, free of creating worry in your life, free of being afraid and anxious.

Sounds easy doesn’t it?  I had someone tell me long ago, “Wow, right…if it was only that easy.”  Well, it isn’t that easy, because you have to re-train your brain.  That’s right, we all have thoughts and those thoughts turn into choices and those choices become behaviors, and those behaviors become the way you live your life.  So if you worry about the past or the future you make the choice to drag it around with you and you feel anxious or fearful or just simply not complete which causes you to feel anxious.  If you feel anxious you become tense, your nervous system is put on alert your body creates stress to deal with the anxious feeling.  The stress and the tension create a tense, unhealthy environment and your body can’t work to it’s fullest potential so all systems are compromised, like your immune system, and your heart, and your quality of health.

You have the choice

Maybe it isn’t a conscious choice but one that is subliminal, as David Eagleman observes in his book about the mysteries of the brain, “Incognito”, “Brains are in the business of gathering information and steering behavior appropriately.  It doesn’t matter whether consciousness is involved in the decision making.  And most of the time, it’s not.”  When I work with guided imagery and hypnosis, we give the subconscious “new orders” and that information will be put into the mix and worked on day and night to achieve the wanted outcome.

Do It Yourself!

You too can re-train your brain to notice the thoughts that do not benefit you.  It’s just your ego needing some drama to keep you worried or anxious, but you have the right to choose which thoughts you have in your mind.  You have the right to let go of thoughts that no longer benefit you.  You can re-train your brain and create a life you want.  It’s all perception anyway.  You have the right to create a “belief” system that works for you and be the master of your own thoughts.

Just imagine.

So many of my clients come to me and say, “I’m so stressed out!”  In fact, just walking down the street you can see for yourself the people who look like they simply hate their world.  I have a simple 6 step remedy to take some of the stress out of your life so you can put a smile on your face and a snap in your step.

You might feel like you have too much to do and you never get it all done.

1) Get a To Do List

Make a list each day of the things you absolutely have to do, things you need to do, and things you’d like to do.  That way you can meet your deadlines and get things done with a confident, focused mind.

You might feel like everyone is asking you for something.

2) Learn to say No.

Be polite, be apologetic, be filled with regret, but be honest.  If you can’t do what you are being asked to do, or if doing it would cause you a lot of grief and stress…just say no!

You might be in a rush to get things done.

3) Do it right the first time.

Often we think we can cut corners and rush something through.  When we do something slap-dash, oftentimes we have to do it again. It may take a little longer to do it right the first time, but it will save you time on the redo.

You might feel like you procrastinate.

4) Use the 10 minute rule.

Pick a task you don’t want to do, and spend ten minutes doing it.  Chances are that at the end of the 10 minutes the task is done or well on it’s way.  If it’s done, it won’t be hanging over your head or keeping you awake at night.  If it’s begun you might feel like spending a little more time to finish or feel thankful that it is on it’s way to being completed.

You might feel tired, bored, or listless.

5)  Sleep and exercise regularly

Burning that midnight oil makes you tired, cranky and inefficient.  It also impairs your immune system, making you vulnerable to sickness.  Exercising regularly keeps you healthy, reduces your stress level, and gives you energy.  Take care of yourself and you’ll stay focused, productive, and efficient.

You might feel overwhelmed.

6) Take a break.

Stop, breathe, have a cup of coffee or tea, go for a walk, read a magazine or a book for a few minutes.  Just break away, even briefly from what you are doing.  The odds are that you’ll feel sharper and be better able to focus on the task at hand after you’ve taken a mini-break from it.

The lesson here is to take care of yourself!  Listen to your mind and body.  Treat yourself like you were your own best friend.  You are worth it!

The Holiday parties are here! Family dinners and socializing, toasting friends and family, creating and eating festive treats. After all, it’s the holidays, right? What’s a couple of pounds? Right? Who can say no to grandma’s pies or her Christmas cake. Look at that buffet! Food is all around us and special delightful nibbly things are just queuing up to join your waistline!

Temptation awaits at every table

But, who’s the boss? Really. Here’s a little help to get you through the holidays and still be able to get into those skinny pants. Or at least the ones without the expandable waistband.

• Eat slower – it has been proven that if you take the time to actually savour and taste the food you won’t eat as much because your taste, smell, and emotional intake will be satisfied. You will be the boss. You will decide to eat elegantly and enjoy the food.

• Take smaller portions – “But my plate has already been prepared”, you say? Well, guess what? You don’t have to “clean” your plate, the kids in Africa or China (or wherever your mom told you they were starving) will not suffer if you leave food on your plate. You can decide to just eat a smaller portion and leave the rest. You’re the boss.

• Trick yourself – Right, say you’re at your desk and it’s 3:00pm, your usual time to go downstairs to the coffee shop and get a cookie and wash that baby down with a deliciously sweet Mocha Grande. You say, “but I always have it with low fat!”. Well, instead of walking down to the cafe, walk on by and take a brisk walk out the door and down the street. Go window shopping or just enjoy the fresh air. When you come back upstairs you can be proud of yourself for getting some exercise, because you’re the boss.

• Choose your temptation- Say you are at an elegant party and the hors d’oeuvers look fantastic. Do you need to taste all of them? No, you don’t. Can you taste some of them? Well, it’s up to you, how about choosing to taste 3 and pass up the rest. You can choose because you are the boss.

Imagine – When you have made these few choices at each party, at each dinner, at each festive occasion. You can imagine how you will be more confident because you are in charge. You can imagine yourself in January without an extra pound or maybe you are thinner, healthier, and happier.

Imagine the power you have just by making a few choices!

I love the story about Kirk Douglas, he was giving up smoking for once and for all, but he kept one cigarette in his pocket just in case he wanted one. When he was tempted he would take the cigarette out, look at it and say, “Who has the power, you or me?” Right! He was the boss and so are you!

I use Hypnosis and Guided Imagery to help people change their lives for the better!  In order to do that, I  teach them how to use their imagination to create the life they want.  Sometimes they think that just imagining is silly, and wonder how it can possibly change anything.  However, I tell them.  “You use your imagination all the time.  You worry!  Yes, worry is a big user of your imagination.  Just think!  How often do you worry about something that might happen, happened, or didn’t happen.

What are you worrying about?

Okay now be absolutely honest and tell me what you worry about.  If you are like 38% of Americans, you worry every single day!  Some people even call themselves worry warts, others say they worry about things that might happen.  In other words they suffer from the “What if”syndrome, busy imagining all the things that could happen and might happen. And in doing so they  raise their anxiety level.

Folks get very involved in creating anxiety for themselves through their worries.  Sometimes worry is good, it keeps us out of trouble, helps us plan the best way to do something safely, it help us have control over our lives.  But worry that causes anxiety is not good worry.

Don’t buy into Mis-Guided Imagery!

It’s the anxiety-creating worry you have to watch out for. If you worry so much it limits your activities, and gets in the way of enjoying your life, you my friend, have been dabbling in using your imagination to create worry which can manifest all kinds of physical and mental problems like anxiety disorders and depression.

Researchers have found that worry actually precedes the onset of depression.   Fifty percent of the people in the United States have had serious problems with depression, anxiety, or substance abuse at some time in their lives. And these problems are on the increase.

So it’s time to take your worry temperature.

Do you worry about the past? What should have happened, what didn’t happen, or what was supposed to happen?

Do you worry about time?  For instance, sometimes people worry about where they are in their lives – “I’m not married yet?”  “I’m getting too old”, “I should be higher in the company”  “I’m always late”.

Do you worry about obstacles?  “I would like to take the class but how would I get there? Where would I park?”  “How would I have time to study?”  “It would take years to get a degree!”

Do you play the “What if” game?  “What if my boss fires me.”  “What if I don’t get the loan?” “What if he doesn’t love me?”

If you feel tense, overwhelmed or anxious most of the time take a moment to assess your worry pattern.  You have the right to decide what to worry about. You have the right to decide whether you want to worry about the past, or worry about what if. The problem is what happens if you spend so much time worrying, you don’t have enough time left for living. When you get to that point, it may be time to worry about how much you worry.

Life may not be a bowl of cherries all the time…but it certainly should not be the pits either!

I have a friend, whom I have never met.  He is a young man in (where are you from Henrik?)  Oh, yes, Henrik lives in Sweden.

He is 30 years old going on “Wise” man  and he has spent (how many Henrik?) oh, yes, 5 years training himself in the power of Positive Thinking.  We can all learn something from Henrik!  What you ask?  Well, here  is what he has accomplished – in his own words:

• Switched from a generally pretty negative attitude to a much more positive one.
• Lost 26 pounds during 4 months in the winter/spring of 2009. I did it by using a program called Turbulence Training, check out the review here.
• Become a lot more present. I used to live a lot of my life in my head, in the past and in the future. Today I spend a lot more time living it in the present moment. It’s a wonderful thing.
• I have become a less shy and more confident person.
• I get things done. I used to be a real procrastinating slacker that never got much done. My effectiveness and productivity have shot up quite a bit since then (although I certainly still have room for improvement).
• I have created a highly successful blog. This blog has – in July of 2010 – 32000+ subscribers via email and RSS and hundreds of thousands of visitors each month. How did I do it? How to Build a Somewhat Successful Blog: 16 Lessons I Have Learned has a lot of answers.

Henrik is a man with a mission.  I have never actually met him, but his blog is filled with interesting lessons and lovely positive thoughts.  His picture is perfect for what he advocates.

So it was terrific tonight when I got home and got a message from Henrik.  My day had not been stellar!  It was one of those days when my computer wouldn’t do anything I asked of it, and although I was all set up for my favorite client, she came in and asked for other things which I could not bring up on my computer immediately, which made me feel the fool and a tad inept when she found a spelling error in the very first title page.

Geez, I felt completely disheartened after trying a number of times to burn a DVD of my work for my client, only to send her home with a DVD with “Nothing” on it.  Duh!

Knowing this, I spent another 2 hours trying to burn a “corrected” version of the DVD.  To No Avail!  Sorry, the computer said, No Can Do because the original can’t be found.  What?!!! It’s a Movie!  You Can Burn a Movie, said I…but no.

Then, I opened my g-mail and Henrik sent me this:

Thank you Henrik!   My day changed tremendously!

When my girls were little, every once in a while they got up on “the wrong side of the bed”. Which means, they were cranky, impatient, sleepy little girls. Now me, I rarely get up on the wrong side of the bed. Usually I wake up and I’m awake! Not my girls, nooooooo sireee! In fact, I don’t believe they really woke up till ten o’clock in the morning, but lucky for me I had a magic spell to change their attitudes!

Endorphins! Endorphins are neurotransmitters that live in the brain and they have pain-relieving properties. There are pain killing drugs like morphine and codeine that act like endorphins.

A natural way to increase your endorphin production is through prolonged exercise, that’s why they call it “runners high”.

Another and easier way to make endorphins is to smile. That is it. The secret. Right there. Just smile!

On the way to school I used to tell my daughters, after I was tired of the complaining and bad moods, “Okay kids, it’s time to endorphin your face! Smile, begin now and do not stop till we get to school”
Silly but it worked!

It was silly, it felt silly, but I was totally serious because I know that another way to produce natural endorphins in the body is to smile. Yes! Smile though your heart is breaking and you will build up your endorphin levels which will make you feel better.

Remember the pain-relieving properties? Well, endorphins are also believed to be connected to euphoric feelings (and the release of sex hormones, but that’s not what I was going for). So by the time we got to school my kids were….well not euphoric, but happier than they were when the got in the car.
images-1Don’t believe it! Well I lengthened their lives too!

I can just hear some of you saying…guess what, they were smiling just because they were sooo glad to get out of the car! Okay, I can grant you that, but I can also tell you I probably helped them live longer too!

As it turns out, researchers from Wayne State University in Michigan found out that the bigger the grin and the deeper creases around yours eyes the longer you are likely to live! The study was led by Ernest Abel and published in Psychological Science.

Ernie and his crew studied 230 photographs of US Major League baseball players who began their careers before 1950. They grouped the players into “partial smile”, “no smile”, and “full smile” that’s when the eyes and mouth, the whole face is smiling.

The pictures were taken from the 1952 baseball register – information included was body mass index, birth, career length, marital status which indicated physical fitness. As of June 1st of 2009 those in the ‘no smile’ category lived for an average of 72.9 years; those with partial smiles- (just the mouth smiling) died at average age 75, but the grinning wild looking full face smiley guys died at rhe ripe old age of 79.9.

Now, there are a number of questions that come to my head in this study, like, did the cameraman instruct them to “say cheese” and some did and some thought “nah” or were some just shy and didn’t want to smile.

Nevertheless, we know you can make endorphins by simply smiling, we know they cause euphoria, and I know my girls are going to live a long life.

Wonder what a wink and a smile can do?

OMG, Sarah Palin is going to be around for a long long time!!!!

I was watching the news, which reminded me of the beginning of a Beatles song: “I heard the news today… oh boy..”

…and I was thinking about how we don’t consider what we consume in thoughts.  Right – thoughts.  We consider our diets and what is good for us, we consider our fitness and how much exercise we are getting, (well, some of us do)  but do we consider our daily diet of idea intake?

Consider this, how many negative messages are in your daily life?  Do you really need to know about the tragedy that happened in the news, in your favorite soap opera, in the lives of the “rich and famous”?

Is your intake of negative thoughts and ideas permeating the way you look at life in general?  Is it making you fearful, skeptical, or simply anxious?

We are constantly bombarded by messages that we consume without any thought of how they will affect us.  So, I’m suggesting we start being more aware how many outside negative thoughts fill our lives.  I’ve often written about being observers of our own thoughts, but have you considered the ideas and thoughts we are consuming everyday, without ever being aware of them.

Do you have friends that complain about their lives on a regular basis?  Do you watch too many negative programs?  All of these things affect our emotions and our outlook.

So let’s take a little assessment of  our diet of thoughts and ideas and just be aware of what we are accepting into our minds. And then we need to accept that we don’t have to accept them.

We can hit the delete button, we can decide on how much news and what news we want to hear, and we can cut out toxic relationships that don’t help us maintain a balanced approach to life.

It’s up to you, you have the ultimate control on what ideas and thoughts you want to be exposed to.

Balance presents itself in all kinds of ways,  food, thoughts, and exercise.  We really are sentries for our own lives. We can decide who or what gets in and what stays out.  So remember to say- Who goes there?  Be in charge of the messages that enter your mind.

I don’t know about you – honest, I don’t! – but when I was growing up summers were long, languid affairs. You spent a lot of time just hanging out, doing nothing. It was a time to play soccer with your mates, make up games of your own, and sometimes just hang around staring at the sky.

I didn’t appreciate it then but it was a time to just be, not to think about the future or the past, to simply enjoy the present.

But once you get out of childhood, college and work and family mean the luxury of laziness is not an option. You have to work or when you do take vacation you are too busy trying to cram as much in as possible to really just stop and relax.

Or if you are unfortunate enough to be out of work then you certainly aren’t thinking about a long vacation, and days are filled with trying to find a new job or just worrying about your situation. Either way, not much fun.

But just because childhood is long gone – in my case way way long gone – doesn’t mean you can’t recapture some of that summer-time feeling. You just have to work a little harder at it that’s all.

Take advantage of the longer days, the light, the heat, the warmth. Use those as tools to help you just take a little time for yourself and reflect, even meditate, on your life.

For instance, after work instead of going straight home take 15 minutes to go for a walk; take the time to enjoy the trees, the light, the scent of flowers, the wind, the warmth. Focus on those and not on the problems at work or what you are going to have for dinner, or what activity you have to do with the kids later.

For just a few minutes, pretend you are a kid again with nothing but time stretching out in front of you.

If you don’t have time after work what about first thing in the morning, what about lunchtime. You don’t need long, you don’t need a special environment. All you need is a little time, a little space and a willingness to cast your mind back and clear the thoughts of the present out of your head.

It’s amazing how many problems melt away when you do this. Things that have been bugging you suddenly don’t seem that important. Arguments you have been having with a friend or loved one seem silly so you resolve to forget them or apologize and move on. Problems at work don’t seem that difficult.

There’s nothing magical here. You are just giving your mind some breathing room, some time to push the day-to-day stuff aside and focus on nothing. It’s really quite wonderful how big a difference a little peace and quiet can have on you.